Today

   Had a very very good jam at Brother Ray's house today. It started off shaky as I wasn't really feeling it initially. Former family member and fellow rider Tom was there doing Ray's plumbing. Tom was there with his kid who - after talking to him for thirty seconds - has some serious problems. Kid's eight. I fear for this kid. So much so, I pulled Tom aside to talk to him. Tom was not all that receptive to the gravity of what I was telling him. This kid has some fucking issues.
   In life, you find yourself in situations where you are keenly aware of their significance and yet you are powerless to solve. This is one of them for me. I feel for this kid and there is literally nothing I can do. I will get with Tom again about him because there is trouble there and I want to make sure that Tom is fully aware of my concern. I see Tom frequently as he is always out for rides with us. Tom used to be family until his wife - my wife's cousin - went out of her mind. I've known Tom for probably twelve to fifteen years.
   Anyway, Ray's today...  I probably wasn't feeling it right off when Tom and his kid were there, but after they left, had me a hit off the old peace pipe. I refuse to smoke around kids no matter how well it is concealed. I do not want to be a bad influence even though I am bad. I want to be a positive presence around people no matter how I can be. I want to be an inspiration. I want people to better themselves and I do pretty well at that. I tend to bring the best out of the people around me. Kids are impressionable. I don't want to be a negative presence in any kid's life no matter how brief.
   Today, Ray was no exception to that. Ray was drumming like a fucking champ. He wants to do well at the drums and he's been practicing and it really shows, After Tom left and I vented to Ray about the "Tom's kid" situation, I was fucking inspired and I played shit no one's ever heard. Ray's jaw was dropped. Ray fucking thanked me "for coming into his life". I shit you not. How cool is that? Brother Ray said "dude, I will follow you anywhere with that guitar". Now, I'm a humble motherfucker. I don't know even how to process that shit. He told me that my playing is like "something from beyond, out there somewhere, the future...". I thanked him for actually wanting to play with me because no one does.
   I am hard to play with. I admit that freely. I told Ray that from the get-go. He's the only fucker I've met who is willing to stick it out with me. I won't be playing any weddings or bar-mitzvahs, but if you listen and hang in there, I might amaze you. I don't play like anyone else, I play for my own amusement without a plan. That's why people can't play with me. They need to listen as I listen to them and we all ride it somewhere beautiful. That's the goal.
   Unfortunately, when I try to record it, it falls way short because I am too painfully aware of the recorder. The record button is my kryptonite. I need someone to record and not tell me they turned it on.  I don't like playing cover songs. That's other players' main problem with me. I like to create moments. I can't just play for the sake of playing. I can do structure but I need room to breathe and expand. I want an experience and I want to take you there with me. Me and Brother Ray have been doing that the past few weeks and I am grateful to Ray for taking this ride and enjoying it as much as I have.
   Very good day today.

   OH! Turns out that last weekend on our ride after we all separated on the highway, Ray's bike BROKE IN HALF behind me! IT BROKE IN HALF!
   Good ride.