Search Results 3

   Today's search was for "The Worst Thing Ever". Now, it's not that I'm in a shit mood or anything and wanted to see something depressing. Actually, quite the contrary. I feel great. So great in fact, that I don't want anything to fuck that up and being in such a good mood on such a great day, I figure the only thing that could fuck that up would have to be The Worst Thing Ever. 

   So, I want to be on the lookout for that thing so I can prepare myself accordingly in case I am confronted by whatever manifestation that the monstrosity called The Worst Thing Ever presents. Left to my own imagination, I would wrongly be on the lookout for a flying auto-loading cannon that shoots giant razorblades that have herpes and plays Ke$ha songs at over three hundred decibels. 

  Thanks to Google though, I now know what to look out for and this one's worse because it's more common and sinister than a flying herpes razor Ke$ha cannon.

    Behold, The Worst Thing Ever:

   Ok, what we've got here is kind of complicated.  I actually had to go past the obvious; Pasty cracker kid with a Bieber making the South Beach kissy face, belting his underoos, and representing his cul-de-sac by throwing up what he must believe to be gang signs to his imaginary "crew" while simultaneously using his pinkies (which fortunately were not needed for his "representin") to lift his shirt to show you his tats.

His tats.

   I had to read up. What he's got there is what comic-savvy posters have declared to be the "Capcom vs. Marvel roster" I assume in it's entirety. Now, this is why children are not allowed to get tattoos. See? Some laws are valid! 

   More frightening than that particular choice of a life-partner-as-body-art is the one below it. To spare you the retching  (imaging that, "retching" has no 'w') that I endured, it says "I wanna take you for a ride" which I can only assume means that if you ask him nice enough, he will bend over for you and you can pretend you have your very own pony.

   So, what have we learned here? Well, I learned that I need not fear "The Worst Thing Ever" and that in itself was worth getting out of bed today to learn. In fact, thanks to Google, not only do I know that, but just to be on the safe side, I also Googled "flying herpes razor Ke$ha cannon" and guess what? There is no such thing! 

Fuck yeah, life's good! 

   I delight in knowing that I need never fear today's search term: The Worst Thing Ever

Thank you: Google

AAAAHHH!: Number 2 worst thing ever (that's a dude).