Real glad.
A few months ago, I was reading a news story about human resources people making prospective employees friend them on Facebook. I shuddered at the thought. A few weeks ago, I was reading a story about human resources people making prospective employees give them their passwords to Facebook. My skin crawled.
Well, that's nothing compared to the i-Brain. The article says it's for medical purposes, but you know that will only remain in the realm of 'not-bullshit' for so long. Before long, you will be forced to put an i-Hat on your fucking i-Head so that an HR department can listen to what an i-Dick you are.
That's nothing. This puppy will be an app for your Android in twenty years (fuck you, Apple) or less. You won't be able to do shit. People talk about Big Brother coming to fruition. I got news for you we're already in Big Brother. The scariest thing coming down the road is not Big Brother. The scariest thing is an episode of the Twilight Zone with none other than Ron Howard where everybody has to think happy thoughts or they're dead. That shit is coming true.
I remember when you could walk around and there weren't cameras watching every goddamn motherfucking thing you did everywhere you fucking went. You could pick your nose, scratch your balls, or vice versa and it didn't wind up on Tosh.0. Cameras were in places that were important and needed them. Now they're everywhere. You do something stupid now, it might make you famous. You might go to bed one night and wake up to a throng of reporters outside your door the next morning. Fully undeserving of recognition, mind you. Shit, I saw in the "news" two days ago a guy who got famous getting his picture taken while jogging. I've seen two more stories about this fucker since then. Despite the coverage, I really don't give a shit. Furthermore, my not giving a fuck is effortless. He could jog into a wood chipper, I still wouldn't care.
Not to sound like some old fuck, but my generation's famous people were better. They had to do something notable. Like cut a dick off. Lorena Bobbitt. I remember. Cut off her husband's (John Wayne Bobbitt) dick and threw out the car window. Cops found it. Doctors sewed it back on. He went into PORNO. Frankenpenis. How fucked up is that?
But I digress...
Anyway, by the time these i-Brains are standard issue everywhere, I'll be laughing at all of you assholes, cowering in your houses, scurrying around like rats, thinking your happy thoughts. All the fake shit you fuckers post on facebook... pictures that illustrate how "fabulous" your lives are, all the awesome shit you pretend you're all doing all the time that you know is just your FB-Face that you put on so everybody thinks you're all together and so that HR person doesn't think you're gonna be fucking your secretary or robbing the company to pay your gambling debts.
Right now, this is hors d'oeuvres. Twenty years from now...
THAT'S GOING TO BE YOUR WHOLE FUCKING LIFE.
Pretend time.
Happy thoughts!
No comments:
Post a Comment