This One's for You, Chuck... R.I.P.

   I just got back from Chuck's funeral. I'm not going to go on about how sad it was, or pontificate about life or anything like that. Instead, I would like to take this time to bitch at the youth of America.
   Because your fucking parents chose to raise you in a classless environment, I would like to smart little assholes up on having a little class.
#1. When picking out proper attire for a funeral, find like the third nicest thing you keep on your 'good' bar. If that third nicest thing has sequins, glitter, or has been bedazzled, just go straight to your nicest thing even if it's your fucking prom dress (assuming it's not "stained"). This is very important: NO FUCKING HOTPANTS. Who the fuck wears hotpants to a funeral? Nevermind, I already fucking know.
#2. DO NOT ARRANGE "Facebook Moments" with the twelve year old son of the deceased. It's not a fucking photo-op, you goddamn stupid twats, HIS FATHER IS DEAD IN A BOX IMMEDIATELY RIGHT BEHIND YOUR STUPID ASS. In fact, that last sentence is so literal, as you are taking a pic of his sister all smooshed up like a bar pic, and you are - I guess - trying to get him to say "cheese", directly to the left of YOUR ASSHOLE CAMERA AND SELF is his FATHER's FACE. In a BOX.
#3. How about you turn off your fucking phone? Nothing like that time that a Deacon is delivering a sincere, heart-felt eulogy and trying to bring comfort to the grieving and then suddenly, Lady Gaga or whatever nonsense you stupid peckerheads have on your stupid phone that is sounding out while your phone is ON AT A FUNERAL. Assholes.
   I think 92% of this state is populated by outhouse debutantes and their offspring that they probably should have hosed off the bottom of their shoes. No fucking class.
   My funeral is going to Black-Tie-Only enforced by a bouncer who will (upon everyone exiting) punch the face of anyone whose cellphone rang during the ceremony.


Peace to you Chuck, we'll do our bit to watch out for your old lady and your boys.

Bad-O's Song of the Day

Today is August 3rd

Today is August 3rd, but you all might know it better as National Watermelon Day. I didn't know that until about thirty-seven seconds ago. So, in celebration of this wonderful wonderful holiday (I can't believe I didn't have off today) and presently being sans wife and kids, I am going to go to the store and buy a watermelon and make sweet sweet love to it. Happy National Watermelon Day!

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Bad-O's Song of the Day

Thank you, Palladia!

This song is sex.

Even Though...

...you had a long day and you look a complete mess right now, you are beautiful to me. Through and through, no matter how tired you are, no matter the trudge that you had, you are the most beautiful person that could ever be. Your presence around me is like sunshine on a not worthy weed. You are fantastic and you were before me just now and I am not worthy of you. You are beauty all the way through. I am but a turd that you allow to be around you, fantastic beautiful you.

Bad-O's Song of the Day

I love to smell your skin. No lotion. No perfume. You. Pure you. God, I love you.

Bad-O's Song of the Day

R.I.P.

    Well, I just got done burying my cat, Boris. He was nineteen and a half. Our neighbor's father made a nice box for him and the girls drew all over it. He's been in all of our houses. He did tricks and he knew some phrases. My favorite one that I could tell him was "fuck off", and he would. Didn't have to say it any louder than anything else or wave my arm or nothing. He would just turn around and walk out of the room. Before he went deaf, you could whisper his name in the middle of the night and wherever he was, he would come to see you. Boris was a great cat, he was my little pal, and I will miss the shit out of him.

Last pic of my pal, Boris.

(yes, he was alive in that picture)

Bad-O's Song of the Day

Friday the Thirteenth

   Man, my old cat is dying. This time I think it's for real. He's been at the edge probably four or five times. You know, those times where the wife is having a serious discussion about putting him down. Those discussions have come up over the past five years and the little bastard always snaps back. He's nineteen and a half now. I really don't think he's coming out of this one. In the past month or so, he still managed to let our two new cats (who are Kruger'd up on all fours) know who the boss is. You gotta love a nineteen-year-old completely de-clawed cat that has sufficiently laid down the law where the two young bucks sneak around him out of fear. Kudos to you, Boris.
   I think this is it this time, though. Past times I have said no to the thought of putting him down. He always comes back. He even survived the big pet food recall/massacre. This time is different.  I feel it. He's at the end. I am a sad fucking panda. Boris is my little bro. Very very cool cat. Did tricks. Very cool. Sucks.

Bad-O's Song of the Day

Today is July 11th

    Happy birthday you rotting fucking cunt. You're dead and I pissed on that fucking hole that you're in. I could only hope that every stray dog that wanders through that graveyard stops to shit on your stone. Fuck you. Fuck you for every shit-awful fucking thing you ever fucking did to me and that twat that I call my sister. You  were a shitty person. Shit, through-and-through to that dead maggot-infested rat that stood in place of your heart.

Tomorrow is July 11th

   Tomorrow is national 'Cheer Up The Lonely Day'. It will also be my mother's birthday. It's the first one she'll be celebrating dead. In honor of these two occasions, I would like to combine them as follows:
   Hey mom, at least one person is happy you are lonely in Hell. Rot there. Fuck you. Cheers!

Happy birthday you fucking cunt.

Bad-O's Song of the Day

I heard this on the way home today and I totally dug it. There's just something beautiful about the music's sheer simplicity coupled up with verses that express practically child-like hope and joy. I remember having this feeling when I was a kid. Awesome awesome song!

If you ain't feeling this one, you just never had a great big amp!

Bad-O's Song of the Day

Some pre Van Halen 1 VH

Adopt-A-Pet (Unless You're Dying of Cancer, That Is...)

   Yesterday, we went to visit our friends Debbie and Chuck. Chuck is being consumed by cancer. Saw him a couple weeks ago and I wondered if it was the last time I'd see him. Wondering that about yesterday's visit as well. 
   Anyway, Debbie was telling us that a few weeks ago, she went to an animal shelter to adopt a dog to cheer Chuck up and keep him company and whatnot. The animal shelter denied her request because they did not want the dog to be in "an emotionally depressing atmosphere". Can you fucking believe that? Turning down a dying cancer patient and opting instead to probably give the dog the hot shot. Assholes.

Bad O's Song of the Day

Well, That's Good News....I Guess.... Kind Of?

   Brother Dave had his day in court and he doesn't go into the can until July 31.

Bad-O's Song of the Day

The Company I Used To Keep and Bad-O's Song of the Day

   I used to hang out with this fucker (the one in the story below) back in my Lansdale days. He was a junkie back then and apparently he switched his game from shooting just meth and coke and got himself a nice old heroin habit and dealership. Dude was a borderline psycho back then.
   His girlfriend at the time was pretty hot. I remember driving her around in my car one day and sitting at a light that had just turned green and some fucker behind us just had to honk his horn. She got right out of the car, went back to his driver side, flipped him the bird right in his face and said "fuck you, motherfucker" and got back in the car. After that I sat there until the light turned red and made him wait another cycle. Funny shit and she was just sexy as hell in her heels and jeans in that dude's face. She dumped Johnny because he was just getting more and more nuts.
   Johnny was the only motherfucker I ever met who would not only talk about punching people's lights out, he would actually take it to the next level by saying he was gonna jerk off in their faces while they were unconscious. Fucking psycho.
   His uncle used to have a pot farm growing in his basement and was hospitalized because he gave himself a bad shot in his foot (he used to shoot up between his toes because he had no good veins left anywhere). He told the doctors that he got a fish hook stuck there. The doctors knew he was full of shit. A little while after that, his basement farm got robbed.
Great family.
   At the same time, it's kind of sad that he never got out of that life. I did. At the time I knew Johnny, I was sure I was going to die in that town and I put my lifespan at 23. Hard life to get out of. The shit we were all into back then was unbelievable. At that time, I could do enough drugs in one night to kill three people. To this day, I still cannot believe I survived that life and got out of it.

http://abclocal.go.com/wpvi/story?section=news/local&id=8715277

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Fucking Hell

   Ain't heard from brother Ray in a couple of weeks. Turns out, it's because he's in prison. I heard this in Cow Town yesterday from brother Dave who is going to prison tomorrow. Bad month to be a friend of mine.

My Day

   Today, I spent nine and a half hours wholly focused on a single task. I really do love tedious and involved projects (not kidding) because I enjoy those times when I can zone in on something that others usually can't stand to do for more than ten minutes and produce something that is just absolutely rock solid. I enjoyed it so much I stayed an hour and a half late and worked it through my lunch which I reluctantly took.
   The thing i was working on was how a one-line question in an email about a single thing can have four hundred and twenty eight (literally) answers and absolutely no resolution! The only person on my list that can appreciate that statement for what it is knows who he is and probably knows exactly what I'm talking about. 
  This was a project I have wanted to do since I've been at my company and today, I finally did it. I entitled the file "Mein Kampf". My sole goal is to take this highly involved nine and a half hours of work and get ANYBODY of significance to look at it for more than fifteen seconds.

Cow Town Rally Yesterday

    Rode out to Cow Town yesterday for that rally. Went there last year too. Good turnout. Lot more club guys there than I remember seeing last year, including two clubs that I didn't think even "got along". The band that was there was called Triple Addiction and they were friggin' kids! But they fucking jammed although I think the rhythm guitar player (on the right in the picture below) needs a shock collar or something so he'd move or at the very least change his facial expression. Maybe look like he's having fun or something.  Anyway, the band is called that because the guitar player, the drummer and the bass player are actually triplets. Don't think I've ever seen triplets before except maybe in the circus or something. Whatever, they were good. The rally was almost identical to last years the way it was laid out except I didn't see the booth with the guy selling Mexican wrestling masks. Maybe he had a bout or something...