Today is May 2nd. Today's holidays are as follows; Baby Day. I don't know any any babies, so fuck 'em, I guess. It's also Brother and Sisters' Day. I'm a brother and I have a sister, so I can legitimately celebrate this day. 
  With that, to my sister, on our special day, fuck you in the ass with a cactus. Rot in hell, you miserable bitch. Say hi to mom while you're there.